im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole