Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
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I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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