I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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