His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize