it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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