why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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