ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
