I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
