i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
