i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
