I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
