big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
