I just threw up on my dentist
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
