next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wish you could order shots online.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
