Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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