I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Naked. naked and bneed help.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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