can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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