Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
