I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
