Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
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She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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