he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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