im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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