Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
