he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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