Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
