I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
