you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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