dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
