So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
