Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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