she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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