At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
