okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
