it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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