There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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