Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
