Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize