it hurts more in the daytime
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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