I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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