god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
