Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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