My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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