i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
