girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize