I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
