She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize