we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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