you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
