I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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