pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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