I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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