My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
