He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you will always have a special place in my vag
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
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He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
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So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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