My hand turned me down
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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