i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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