nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
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While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize