If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
