the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
How's work?
Spinning.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize