Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
