Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
