She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
