I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I need to sanitize my soul.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
