Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
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nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
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When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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