im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
