So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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