There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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