a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
