Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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