FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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