You're so nebulous sometimes
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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