I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All the doctor said was why
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
